Meeting Planning is (usually) Never Boring...

OK, I mean sometimes it is when I am dealing with meetings that involve only water stations, no F&B, no room block, no nothing and when I am dealing with heinous financial processes that I detest, but overall I love what I do for a living and cannot imagine doing anything else.

So, today I get an instant message from one of my internal clients saying "This is random...but did I tell you about the bed bug situation at the hotel in New York last month?" and I'm all, NO YOU DID NOT! So he proceeds to tell me this story and how awkward and weird it was when he was downstairs with this attendee at 1 AM when she is trying to check out of the hotel and go elsewhere, etc. And then the best part-about how the next day a member of the management staff comes over to him with the "bug report" from the exterminator and is all "Those weren't bed bugs. Those were some other type of beetle."

Oh, that clears it up! Bugs in my bed are fine as long as they aren't BED BUGS, per se. OMG. I was not only itchy but also snorting and generally guffawing like a jackass after my client tells me this. Because really? Pretending that bugs in your bed are OK as long as they weren't actually bed bugs? Is not OK. So awkward.

And of course we are supposed to have a meeting at this property again in November...he doesn't want to hold it there...do I blame him? Heck no!

Never dull...

So, my dog likes it when I leave the house.

OK, so one of our dogs (Lacey) is a lab and as labs are known to be, is a totally food-motivated chowhound. SHE LOVES FOOD.

And she loves it when mommy goes to work in the morning, because when mommy leaves, HeidiLacey (what my two dogs are called together) get a treat.

Now Heidi is a German Shorthaired Pointer who we call "The Supermodel", because she's all legs and she's lean and not very food-motivated. Of course Heidi will EAT the dog biscuits, but she's not going out of her way to ask for them.

Lacey is another story...she has my morning routine figured out and in my last few minutes of getting ready, starts following me around the house and gets all antsy. It's really pretty funny. I can see her thought process of "Mommy. Mommy, please go. Lacey want treat. Mommy please go bye-bye so Lacey can has treat. Mom. Mom, go away."

I wish she'd be a little less obvious sometimes!

Ok, um...so, I haven't really posted since I got a job. And Metal Chickens named Beyonce. Read on...

So, I guess these days I don't have much of a life, because you know, I have a job and all. So I am either working or sleeping. Or possibly at work wishing I was sleeping.

But this...THIS was just so worthy of a post.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you...Beyonce the metal chickens.

Perhaps I should backtrack and introduce you to The Blogess. The Blogess is based out of Houston, and she's damn funny. http://theblogess.com

I first read the post about Beyonce (http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/) because it was linked to Jen Lancaster's page on Facebook. And yes, I found it hilarious (duh). But then my demented (I mean that in the best possible way) cube mate at work stumbled upon it somehow. And then it was shared with the rest of the gals on the team I work with. And then another co-worker only slightly less demented than my cube mate was on the Beyonce bandwagon. And it became a joke that never stopped being funny.

AND THEN, Tuesday night I was at HEB and as I was leaving the store, what do I drive past but a FLOCK of Beyonces! I mean, a flock! And I take a picture to share with demented cube mate. I show it to her. And then the less demented co-worker sees it. And they decide they MUST have Beyonces. I mean, my cube mate went out during lunchtime THAT VERY DAY and looked at TWO DIFFERENT HEBs and found no Beyonces. And then it was decided that I had to buy Beyonces for both of these co-workers, because apparently only the HEB in my hood is cool enough to sell metal chickens.

These Beyonces were SERIOUS BUSINESS. I was supposed to go to HEB again last night to get them, but wound up not being able to. And given that HEB makes me need valium and I think I have been there a total of four times or less since I started my job on May 23rd, being willing to return to HEB so soon after my last trip was a big deal. But to procure metal chickens, I felt that it was VERY worthy of my time.

So this morning when I shared with these lovely ladies that the Beyonce buying trip to HEB had NOT in fact happened last night, there was disappointment. But I PROMISED I would make it tonight, and I did.

You don't know how excited I was to be the batshit crazy lady at HEB buying metal chickens.

One of these gals called HEB this morning to ASK THEM TO PUT TWO OF THEM ON HOLD. That how necessary the Beyonces were. They told her that they couldn't place merchandise on hold and that they had plenty and it shouldn't be a problem to get two of them this afternoon. I am sure this employee of HEB was thinking "What? Those fugly things? You want them? TWO of them?"

So, I run into HEB and buy Chorizo and the guy at the register asks me if I need anything else. (Ice? Stamps?). I said yes, I need two of those metal chickens outside.

He had to go outside and get a price tag. So he did that and then came back inside to finish ringing me up. And then he had to call to figure out who needed to actually get me the metal chickens, because they were chained up (perhaps I should call the SPCA?). And I went outside with another exemplary HEB Partner and then realized that I had been rung up for the inferior, smaller, $29 model, when I wanted the $39 model. So we went back inside and upon informing the manager at the self-checkout that I owed them for $20 worth of chicken.

While this transaction was going on, I told the Partners at HEB about The Blogess, how this was such fun for us in the office, how one was going to live in the cube and the other was going to be a gift for her mother (which will THRILL her and be presented on Saturday). They seemed amused but I am sure that to them, I was just the batshit crazy metal chicken buying lady.

Finally, the transaction is complete and the nice guy at HEB took me out and released two Beyonces into my posession. One is in my trunk and the other is in my back seat. We don't want any chicken fights, you know.

I cannot WAIT to bring one of the Beyonces into the office tomorrow. The other one will live in my car until my other co-worker (the one giving the gift of Beyonce to her mother) gets back from Houston on Friday.

OH, almost forgot. When I was outside with the guy, I see that there is a $68 Beyonce that is probably 4 feet tall, no kidding. That's about TWO FEET more chicken than the Beyonces I bought. So when you think about it, a great value because it's about double the size of the Beyonces I bought, and those were $39. So really, the $68 version is like getting $10 of chicken FOR FREE.

Seriously, the highlight of my week. I love these warped people.

PS-there are no pictures here because my iPhone is being an asshole. I will post real, live pictures of the Beyonces once it behaves itself.

I need a nanny. Or something.

OK so my mom is retiring this week after 27 years of teaching. Some of her colleagues have asked her if she's going to move to Boston to be a Grandma, and she's like "No, don't you know it's cold there?".

The week before last (Friday right before I started my new job) we were heading to my cousin Sean's graduation from UT and I was doing my makeup in the car and I was joking with my mom that I needed her to move here so that she could chauffeur me to work, so that I could get out of the house faster in the mornings and put on my makeup in the car.

Now in my second week of work, I'm not joking! I also need my mom to move here to do my errands during the day. I am putting in some LONG hours at work and the drive can take me up to an hour one way, so errands after work are NOT high on my list of things to do. And of course, neither is spending my whole weekend doing errands. So this is one area where I could surely use my soon-to-be-retired mom's help.

Mom also figured she needed to move to Austin so that the dogs could be fed at exactly 5 every day. Because we all know that my Lacey dog needs to be fed at 5 or she will absolutely die of starvation.

So...no, she's not going to be moving to Boston to be a Grandma...I am proposing she moves to Austin to take care of her nearly 35 year old daugher (and her even older son-in-law).

Mom, you're on board, right? ;)

Well, so-I did it.

I was offered a job today. I accepted. HOORAY. This is a bit of a dream job for me. I've been applying with this company for about a year and a half, and first started actually talking to humans there last June, I think.

After not working FT for 10 months, I am nervous! I know this position is going to be a BIG challenge-the work load will be heavy, and I will be busier and have more meetings than I ever have. It's a challenge I am definitely up to, but still makes me nervous.

PLUS, I have never worked in an office this big. Seriously, there are like 2000 people in the facility where I'll be working. Instead of being the only meeting planner or one of a few, I'll be one of several. I'm entering the (much faster) pace of corporate meetings. I'm thrilled and excited and so ready to do this.

I am not patient. It's genetic. But patience and persistence paid off here. I got one of (in my opinion) the very few jobs in Austin worth waiting for. I've said it before-there's just not a lot here, outside of state associations, which don't float my boat since I've worked in international and national associations. A state association would feel like a step back at this point.

Anyway...yay! :)

Bitchpanic about hitting the one year mark...

OK, it's not *that* close yet, but we all know how time flies...even though I continued to do some work w/my employer in Chicago after I moved back to Austin, I count the beginning of July as the "official" start of my job search/period of unemployment. Even though I started looking for jobs before that, that date is good because that's when I actually arrived back in Austin.

9.5 months later, I have applied for over 100 jobs, had lots of interviews, and zero offers. Which I am pretty okay with, because I have had lots of interviews for positions that I thought would be "okay" jobs, but not really something I was totally jazzed about.

I guess I'm just feeling blue this week because I had an interview Thursday last week, and one on Friday and, you know, I want to know NOW if there are second interviews in my future. Both of these interviews were with companies I'm really interested in. Patience is a virtue, and it's not something I was blessed with (I blame the Davison genes).

I've also been thinking a lot about what happens if I reach the one year point? What do I do then? Get sympathy cards in the mail from everybody who didn't hire me? ;) No...but I might have to seriously reevaluate some things. Beg my husband to move somewhere that holds more job opportunities in what I'm looking for? Give up being a meeting planner? I don't know, and I hope that is a milestone that I do NOT reach.

Things I miss about working.

I mean, besides the obvious (the paycheck).

1) Going to Starbucks for a little break. Woe is me if I don't work walking distance from Starbucks.

2) After work happy hour (which I never did as well as in Chicago, ha!).

Of course, these aren't the ONLY things...but I DO look forward to them, I won't lie!

(Edited to add) 3) Awesome people like Fiore and Trisha. Duh, how did I not remember to include this originally?

I wish I had something funny...

To post about like "Held Hostage in the Nail Salon", but I don't. But at some point, the job search has become humorous. I don't know if that started when I had to mail in a job application for a job I found over the weekend, or what. Yes, I'm still frustrated and want a job, but something about this just makes me laugh. I don't know if it's finding out who got hired for positions I got looked over for or what. I think that's definitely part of it. Or finding out that people "on the inside" of the state association side of things can just basically get a phone call saying "Do you want to come back to work for us?" without even having posted a job? That, too. Whatever. I'm an awesome meeting planner and whoever doesn't realize that is a dummy. So ha. :)

Oh, yippee.

Last week I got a job rejection letter in the mail. It didn't even faze me. My husband and I were standing in the kitchen when I opened it. I read it, then said "Another rejection". Then I ripped off the top part with the address on it (to shred) and threw the letter in the recycle bin, and then went to the bedroom to use the shredder.

I went back into the kitchen and he hugged me and said he was sorry. The thing was, I wasn't sad. This job would probably have been enjoyable in lots of ways, but it wasn't 100% what I wanted to do. So it really didn't bother me.

Fast-forward to today. I had an interview a couple of weeks ago, on a Monday. That particular week I was pretty busy because I had gotten a piece of contract business and was working a convention. So, scheduling that interview was a little bit crazy. I was set to finish at 1 PM on the Wednesday of that week, and the person interviewing me wanted to come in at 1:30. Well, that wasn't good for several reasons. 1) What if I needed to stay later? I didn't want to bail on the client. 2) The drive time from downtown to this office would have been at least 30 minutes. 3) I'd not be looking my best and I wouldn't be mentally sharp after 3 days at a conference. So we scheduled the interview for before I had to be downtown Monday morning.

This organization made it sound like they wanted to make a decision that week, so I kind of went out of my way to be there Monday morning. Fast-forward to the next week, which was last week. I hadn't heard anything from them and wanted to follow up/write off this possibility. I e-mailed my contact and they were still doing interviews? WTF? Why was it SO URGENT that I went in the week before?

Anyway, I got another e-mail from my contact today saying that they offered the position yesterday to somebody that interviewed on Friday, and she accepted. That it was a very hard decision, blah blah. And again, I'm not really sad even though this position was more along the lines of what I really wanted to do. I still didn't feel like it was 100% right for me.

And I wonder if that position that's 100% right for me is even out there. I don't even want to bring up the interview that I had the same week. That was totally weird. I mean, I know the right position exists, because I've had it before. Even though I had a love/hate relationship with my last employer in Chicago, I miss it and it was pretty close to 100% what I wanted to do. I just know how few and far between those types of positions are here in Austin, and it totally bums me out. More than getting a rejection letter does.

Thinking about life...

I am sorting through receipts, trying to get our financial house in order and wow, it's causing all sorts of deep thoughts.

First of all, there are lots of receipts for places in Chicagoland that I miss. Portillo's, Sally's, Gibson's, Bongo Room (Ok, so they are all restaurants and bars, but I even got nostalgic for the dry cleaner because he carried my stuff out TO THE CAR for me).

And also, the seemingly never-ending job search. I had an interview last week but I won't find anything out about that position for another two weeks or so. I had one interview at the beginning of February. Still nothing from that. I e-mailed HR on that one yesterday. Then a call today for one on Monday. So, it's at least going SOMEWHERE, but not as fast as I'd hoped. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't still be writing about looking for a job.

The thing is, I am going to make a WHOLE LOT LESS money here than I did in Chicagoland. And yes, it costs less to live here. That is true. From all the COL (cost of living) calculators I looked at when we moved up there and also recently, it's about 25% higher in the Chicago area than it is here. But some of these positions pay even more than 25% less. And it's so frustrating to me. I like money. I want to live in a cool neighborhood, like Tarrytown. And I think I was underpaid in Chicago. So I don't really like this difference. UGH. So frustrating.

Such is life, right? I'll have to hope for Scott to get a raise! :)

The Governor and the Coyote

I just got this from a former colleague in IL and thought it was too good not to share.

ILLINOIS:
The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.


TEXAS:

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Texas is not.

This is even more amusing because the TX part is basically true:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/27/AR2010042705323.html

Certainly there are better ways to do this...

Job rejection letter I got just now:

Dear Kristine,

Thank you for applying to XXXXX. After reviewing your background and qualifications we find that we do not have an appropriate position for you at this time. We appreciate your interest in XXXXX and wish you success in your job search. At this time we unfortunately cannot offer any feedback specific to your application.

Sincerely,

The XXXXX Recruiting Team

I really think that some BS about how I have a great skill set but that there were other applicants that more closely matched their needs would be better than "we do not have an appropriate position for you at this time".

Good news is, I'm not bummed at all, because I wasn't terribly into this job opportunity anyway.

Onward and upward.

A conference "from the other side".

So yeah, I am unemployed. If you know me, you know this about me. And I am bored. So today I volunteered at a conference.

It was funny being a volunteer. Some assumptions that I made (like that I would be monitoring the same room all day, instead of moving around) were wrong.

Also-why not just give me the packet (with the speaker info and session description I need to announce) for each room I'll be taking care of in the morning, instead of having to hook up between every session to get the info? It probably wasn't ready first thing this AM, and I definitely understand that.

Just a couple of things for me to think about the next time I am planning a meeting or conference. Heck, if I am lucky enough to have room monitors for every session at the next conference I plan, I'll consider that a victory.

Setting: today, conference and trade show.

OK, I am going to have to start this off by saying that even though I would prefer to wear pajamas ALL THE TIME over getting dressed up and stuff, that I really don't think jeans are appropriate attire for a conference/trade show unless they are part of your "booth uniform". What am I, 100 years old? I guess so.

So today at this trade show, the City of Arlington, TX (where Cowboys Stadium is located) has REAL Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders at their booth. Both were named Ashley, and they were so sweet. And would you believe that some meeting/association professionals (women of a certain age, I am told) COMPLAINED about that? Hello? Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? A Texas institution! What is wrong with these people? They are clearly not my people. They are the ones that I am waiting for to die or retire so that I can have a job. Old biddies. Yeah, I'm not as young and hot as them but their simple presence doesn't offend me. As I said to somebody at the booth that told me about it, "Bend over, remove stick."

I also met a lady today who moved down here from Minnesota about 2.5 years ago. She told me it took her a year to find a job. Seriously, the association people in this town die in their jobs. On the bright side, I'm halfway there! Ha.

And even though some of the small cities in TX (read: not Houston, Dallas, Austin, Fort Worth, or San Antonio area type cities) had really cool booths, I know I'm going to be really sad if I get a job with a state association where I have to plan all of my meetings in Texas.

That's all for now.

Thank you for your interest.

Dear Kristine,

We wanted to follow up with you on the status of your application for the position of XXXXX. While we were impressed with your qualifications, we have decided to
pursue other candidates who appear to be a closer match for the position.

Please feel free to apply for other open positions that you are interested in.

Thank you for your application and best wishes for a successful and bright future.

Best Regards,
XXXXX company

Yeah, bulls### people.  I can read a job description.  I fit the qualifications SO WELL and you didn't even interview me.  So, just bite me.  

That's all for today.  

Holy job rejection.

OK, so the other week when I was in Boston I had a phone interview that I thought went really well, and that I'd hear back the next week on moving forward in the process.

The next week (which was last week), I hear nothing. So, Friday morning I e-mail HR.

No Response.

Friday afternoon I see the job re-posted on a major industry job board.

Um, OK.

Finally, TODAY I get an e-mail back that the position was re-posted (duh) and that nobody that was interviewed is still under consideration for the position, and that letters will be sent out stating that.

Um, OK. Let's not E-MAIL candidates. Because e-mail is fast and free. Let's send them a LETTER. But before we do that, let's RE-POST this job on a major industry job board so that they can feel like they were stabbed in the heart when they see the posting!

Sounds great to me!

The fact that this all happened with the university I graduated from makes it sting even more.

FML.

Held hostage at the nail salon.

Oh, my word. Just earlier today I was talking to my dear friend Julia about how I think of getting a pedicure as an errand, instead of "Yay! A pedi!". And then I was held hostage at the salon for TWO HOURS.

I arrived and signed in at 4:15. 4:30 came around and the three people working at the salon were still working on the same three people they were when I walked in. They were all getting acrylics. I got up and said I'd come back tomorrow, because really, no BFD, I don't need a pedi like RIGHT NOW or anything.

But they were like "Oh, no-we're almost done, blah blah." So I stay. And they put me in a pedicure chair soon after.

And I sat. And sat. And sat. It was hard to be totally peeved, because I was reading magazines and all, but I was a prune by the time they actually got to me.

When it was all said and done, I left the place at 6:20. Geez. That WAS a chore.

Question-why do they never want to cut my toenails? Are claws in style now? Yes, I know I have short nail beds and that when my nails are nicely trimmed, they are SHORT. And I am ok with that. I prefer it over having the nail pass my skin. WTF?

I thought that since I am already annoyed...

That I would post about annoying travel experiences.

1) Please listen to the flight attendant's advice of putting your small shit UNDERNEATH THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU.

2) Same applies for your coat-please do what the nice people say and DO NOT PUT IN THE OVERHEAD BINS UNTIL ALL BAGS HAVE BEEN STOWED.

3) Especially on an airline like Southwest, which allows you two checked bags for free, consider CHECKING YOUR BAG.

4) Baggage claim-please do not STAND RIGHT UP AT THE BELT. Especially at an airport like AUS that seems to only ever use two carousels at a time out of the available six.

5) Some of you are just TOO STUPID TO SELECT YOUR OWN SEAT. So, if you are a family that needs to sit together, whatever....PAY FOR EARLY CHECK-IN so that you can get into group A, LIKE I DID.

6) Also, if you are one of the LAST PEOPLE ON THE PLANE on an open-seating flight (like on SWA), don't walk past the open middle seats. You just walked past YOUR seat.

Thanks for flying.